Back in the early aughts, there was an entire movement of terrible movie parodies in the theaters. Every few weeks, there seemed to be a new “_____ Movie” released, and the results were always poor. One of the many problems these movies had was their choice of targets. Since they came out so frequently, whatever happened in popular culture during the writing was seemingly shoehorned into the script, and many times the “jokes” were about other comedies. Satirizing comedy is extremely hard. The thing is already meant to be taken lightly, so how does one make a joke about a joke? As the “writers” of those movies proved, you should probably just avoid it.
The same problem occurs with holiday novelty songs. Christmastime is a lighthearted, jovial season, and when someone tries their hand at a holiday comedy song, it usually just ends up being embarrassing. There are a few that will always make me laugh (Hangovahs!), but even then, I’m laughing in spite of myself. I never expect holiday novelty songs to be funny, so when I chuckle, perhaps I’m partially laughing at myself for thinking they’re funny.
There is one “comedy” song that is never funny. Not in a Millennial ironic sense, not in a nostalgic sense, not in a “so bad it’s good!” sense. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo Shropshire is simply not funny.
The “gag” of the song is that the narrator’s grandmother was killed by one of Santa’s reindeer. I know – it’s supposed to be a joke song, so there’s no point in taking the subject matter ironically seriously and analyzing it for cheap laughs. I understand that. What I don’t understand why the story is supposed to be funny.
I’ll move beyond the non-joke of story. Let’s take a closer look at the lyrics. “She had hoof prints on her forehead and incriminating Claus marks on her back.” When I looked up the lyrics, I assumed “Claus marks” was a typo. It’s not. I suppose songwriter Randy Brooks was trying to be clever, using the homonyms “claws” and “Claus,” but it doesn’t work. If Santa and his reindeers caused the accident, there wouldn’t be any animals with claws around to scratch Grandma’s back. So, what kind of marks did Santa Claus make that were incriminating? What kind of marks could he make that would be easily identified as belonging to him?
Performance-wise, there is nothing in this song that doesn’t irritate me. The little uptick in inflection on “YOU can say there’s no such thing as Santa” Elmo Shropshire does. The way “She’d been drinking too much eggnoooog” is sung in a knowing “getting drunk is inherently funny!” manner. The spoken “And the pudding made of fig” that only highlights the clumsiness of the line. The “Sing it, Grandpa!” exclamation that fits into the misbegotten idea that old people are automatically funny. From the very start to the final 3-minute-26-second mark, it’s nothing but aggressively unfunny, anti-clever, insipid, ill-conceived, and annoying. (Also, 3 and a half minutes for a terrible comedy song? This is an early example of the Apatow style of comedy: be so self-satisfied that you don’t show concern for length or pacing.)
I know I’m throwing a lot of darts at an undeserving target. By all accounts, Elmo Shropshire is a nice person. He’s a veterinarian, a competitive runner, and an avid banjo player. He’s performed all over the world and has recently played on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. If I ever meet Shropshire in person I’d probably congratulate him on his success. The holiday season is about spreading joy to one another, and Shropshire does just that.
“Granda Got Run Over by a Reindeer” is awful.
Merry 